Ok enough is enough! My housework arrangements are not working. For long and weary I have faithfully left out a bowl of porridge every night and every morning I drag myself downstairs, past the debris and junk on the stairs, and the place is STILL a tip! Bloody Elves! What do they want? Butter on it ? I have given them years to get this right. I have left subtle little hints; like the time I put photographs of the washing up on top of the porridge bowl so even these myopic little squirts couldn't miss it, those plates are still lying in the sink to this day, years later. I've tried shouting threats down the big rabbit hole behind the fence (where I'm sure they live), I've even got down on my knees and pleaded with them down that bloody hole. Nothing. Lately I've even begun to suspect the little bastards are bringing their own stuff IN here. Today however they've gone too far. There is a "Fairy Ring" in the garden. They ignore the housework, they haven't made me one single pair of shoes - not so much as a sandal in all these years - they add their shit to my kiffle pile, and now they're having parties on the sodding lawn and pissing in circles on the grass! No more mister nice guy. If this place isn't cleared up by tomorrow then the days of porridge eating are over!
Loved the post. And, the blog as well. I almost hummed, "Where have all the house elves gone", while reading the post! :-)
ReplyDeleteP. S. I, too, am keeping an eye on the Richard III news....